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Some tips for men in understanding women

POSTED: September 25, 2013 7:14 p.m.
 

Growing up in a household with three older brothers, I learned quite a bit about how boys and men think.

Our house also seemed to have a revolving door, so there were always plenty of my brothers’ friends around.

My husband and I have been married for 23 years, and two of our four children are boys. This has added to my education about the male mindset.

I also love people and through my job often meet and interview men, furthering my ability to gather “male” information. 

While I may not be a true expert, I feel I can offer some insight about certain things men may not understand about women and how we think.

While offering this information, smart men will pay close attention to tips for improving their relationship with their significant other.

• All mirrors are not created equal. This statement is not revolutionary to women. We know that certain mirrors are kinder to us, but men don’t understand or believe this fact.

• Shopping for blue jeans is an all-day process for women that typically ends in frustration and a possible bout of depression.

When my husband or sons need new jeans, they simply tell me what size. They don’t even need to try the jeans on. Hah!

Women may try on dozens of jeans, all in the same size, and go away from the store discouraged and without any jeans.

• All women understand the significance of the sentence, “I can fit into my skinny jeans.” That is actually a major declarative statement that most women aspire to.

The fact that we all keep at least one pair of skinny jeans in our closet, helps us keep trying to reach our goal. The size of said skinny jeans is relative to every individual.

The fact that most of us have gone up in skinny jean size as we age, doesn’t mean we no longer have a pair of skinny jeans. Men don’t know what the heck we are talking about.

• We never forget or ignore a hair appointment. Unless someone needs to go the emergency room and there’s bleeding involved, women will show up for hair appointments.

A wise man knows when his spouse’s appointment is and comments on how great her hair looks afterward. Bonus points go to a man who suggests a dinner out that night.

• We know you don’t understand this, but it makes perfect sense to us — you have to cut your hair when trying to grow it out.

• Despite what you may think, we’re really not that hard to please. A simple bouquet of flowers from the grocery store makes us feel special.

Anything beyond this act is only going to score you major points, i.e, you win big if you present us with roses, chocolates, champagne, lingerie, etc.

• It is also nice when you know those things unique to your spouse. For example, some of us prefer a living houseplant to a bouquet of flowers.

The fact that most of us have told you about this many times before and you still forget baffles us.

• So-called “chick flicks” may be for women. But if you’re willing to watch one with us and refrain from negative comments, you score points and receive forgiveness for not bringing us enough flowers or small gifts.

• When we ask if we look fat, we’re secretly crying out for you to tell us how great we look — even if we do look fat.

• Men don’t understand why, when we spend a day shopping for a swimsuit, we’ll need at least one pint of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream upon returning.

• If we tell you not to buy us something for our birthday or any other holiday, don’t listen.

• When we cook dinner, never ever say you don’t like it. Offering to do the dishes doesn’t go unnoticed.

• Offering to help with the children at night — feeding, bathing and putting them to bed — is worth more than flowers for a mother who has young children.

• Insisting your wife enjoy some alone time on the weekends is a major point-scoring tool.

• Calling or texting during the day just to see how our day is going is sweet and makes us smile.

• We don’t care if you’re going bald.

God made women and men differently. Women may often seem complicated, and I believe that’s true. But that doesn’t mean we’re impossible to please.

Being a mom is, for the most part, both a glorious and thankless job. More than anything else, we want to feel appreciated.

Now, go make her day.

 

Adlen Robinson is author of “Home Matters: The Guide to Organizing Your Life and Home.” E-mail her at contact@adlenrobinson.com.

 

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