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I can find a better way to spend my money

 
POSTED: April 2, 2017 2:00 a.m.

Our homeowners’ association fees were due yesterday. It’s a ridiculous amount ($1,000) to live in a neighborhood that’s been around more than 20 years.

My suggestion: Tear down the big white clubhouse and replace it with an open-air pavilion. After the demolition dust has settled, I figured we could say “adios” to all those gargantuan maintenance costs and put some of that jack back where it belongs: in my wallet.

I posted the suggestion on social media and some liked it. Others took umbrage with such a heinous idea. Someone even called me a bully.

I understand there are costs associated with running a neighborhood and HOA. I have paid my bill every year. And don’t get the impression that I am one to let others do it, having done two stretches on the governing board.

Heck, the last time, we got the train back on the rails after there were some financial shenanigans that needed to be addressed. The board handled this problem and others.

That was many years and a few boards ago. Now the new folks in charge have asked for a grand to live here. And I’m pretty sure that’s not such a good thing.

Having attended a raucous January neighborhood meeting, there was rancor and spirited exchanges. The neighborhood attorney (not an attorney who lives in the neighborhood, mind you, but one hired and paid for by the HOA) made few friends by citing legalities about why the vote about new fees couldn’t be postponed.

A reasonable request by residents since the Falcons were in the playoffs and the kickoff was imminent. And get this: The HOA president was absent due to another business commitment. Hey, wait a minute. He better not have been at the Georgia Dome.

Even more disturbing is that a cease-and-desist letter was purportedly sent to a resident who had the audacity to question the way things were being done.

I haven’t read Shakespeare since college, and even then, it made my head spin. I’ll take Tim Dorsey or Daniel Silva any day.

However, hearing about the letter and observing the dialogue at the meeting, it’s not difficult to see why the Bard penned, in Henry VI: “First thing, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

I wonder if Shakespeare received a “knock-it-off-or-else” parchment?

There are more meetings scheduled and I hope to attend every one. It ought to be great theater, more riveting than Shakespeare.

Although probably not as entertaining as tonight’s Wrestlemania. (How’s that for a segue?).

I’m debating taking the WWE up on their exclusive offer. I can get the wrestling organization’s broadcasts until June for a lot less than those HOA fees. Try $1,000 less.

Not the most technical savvy guy might not be an obstacle since I can watch it on the PlayStation console. I think Cheech might join the festivities.

I don’t think Greg will be around even if there’s an offer of voluminous amounts of food. He has taken to thumbing his nose at the WWE.

He’s a “maybe” and I think his friends are in the same boat.

So it might be El Cheecho and me unless there is some great walk-up business. Give a call. Great seats are still available for the four-hour extravaganza. Besides, former UGA defensive lineman and one-time Cumming resident Bill Goldberg is in the main event.

At least that is my way of rationalizing tonight’s “purchase.” Then again, this might be the first leg towards getting my ticket punched on the “Whacko Ward Express.”

I’d truly be nuts if I paid for the show.

If you’re nearly tapped out (see how I got that wrestling term in there below the Wrestlemania paragraph? Pretty smooth, eh?) after writing that HOA check, rat hole $5 for what is a stupendous bargain.

And you’ll be helping the community at the same time. For a mere fiver, you can go to a local high school sporting event and be entertained for a few hours.

Wednesday was one of those gorgeous evenings where summer is just itching to arrive. It might as well get here after that wimpy winter.

Sitting in the stands at North Forsyth High School watching a baseball game was as good as it gets. There was a girls’ lacrosse game going on at the same time.

For lots of parents, grandparents and students, Coal Mountain was the center of the universe.

The baseball game had it all: good defense, solid hitting and a back-and-forth game that could have gone either way.

There was even an MLB-worthy rhubarb between the North coach and the umpire.

I wonder who’ll get the cease-and-desist letter?

Mike Tasos’ column is published every other Sunday. Support local athletics and support the UGA guy tonight. Enjoy the show and remember Lewis Grizzard’s pick-up line in high school: “Do you think pro rasslin’ is fixed?” Comments can be sent to miketasos@earthlink.net. He is also on Facebook.

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