Can you have too much of a good thing? Is there such a thing as too much college football? Saturday, I set out in search of the answer. Here now, the Diary of a College Football Junkie:
12:05 The first kickoff! Ohio State hosts Minnesota under typically gray Ohio skies. Bucks QB Terrelle Pryor misses his first pass, and scattered boos emanate from the throng. That’s what a loss to Purdue will do.
12:09 And here are those very Boilermakers, again in their all-black unis, facing Ron Zook’s Fighting Illini. Boy, has Zook taken them down the tubes: they’re 1-5. Thank heavens for Illinois State.
12:11 Here come the Yellow Jackets! How will they handle prosperity? And the trip to Charlottesville? Luckily, it’s raining; a windbreaker covers most of Al Groh’s luminescent Virginia sweatshirt.
12:20 Poor UConn. Playing a week after teammate Jasper Howard was killed, they allow West Virginia to run back the opening kickoff for a touchdown.
12:35 Ole Miss leads Arkansas, 7-0. Boy, it doesn’t take the Hog defense long.
Hey, this is the only game being played in sunshine!
12:51 Still no score in Columbus, and the faithful are restless. Purdue leads Illinois, 14-7. UConn has tied West Virginia.
12:54 Virginia takes a 6-3 lead on Tech after a fake punt goes awry. Pouring rain, but Paul Johnson disdains any headgear.
12:56 Purdue’s QB runs in untouched for a 21-7 lead. They’ve run 22 times, passed four. Are they a Big Ten team, or what? Any wonder that the Illini faithful and Florida’s foes wish the Zooker was still in Gainesville?
1:00 Groh discards his windbreaker. Boy, that sweatshirt’s bright! On cue, Josh Nesbitt scores, and Tech leads, 10-6.
1:06 Ohio State finally takes a 7-0 lead, to modest applause. Ole Miss leads Arkansas, 14-0. I’m sure it’s not coach Petrino’s fault.
2:00 the Yellow Jackets fail in their attempt to keep the ball for the entire third quarter, but they come close: 81 yards in 18 plays in 10:47 for a
20-6 lead. Groh dons his windbreaker again.
2:14 Another Buckeye punt. Yawn. They’re sitting on a 14-0 lead.
2:24 Virginia drops another pass in the end zone. Maybe it’s Tech’s day. 20-9.
2:31 The Bucks erupt! Or, the Gophers pack it in. Either way, it’s 28-0.
2:37 Long touchdowns are traded, and Ole Miss leads, 24-17. Ah, sunshine!
2:56 UConn completes an 88-yard pass to take a 24-21 lead with 3:50 left! How about you, Marcus Easley!
3:10 Ugh! The sweet story sours. West Virginia’s Noel Devine runs 56 yards, and the Mountaineers lead, 28-24, with 2:10 to go.
3:33 Alabama and Tennessee take the field! The CBS booth shot features Verne Lundquist (whatever became of his neck?) and Gary Danielson, who rode to the game with the car window open. Nice hair!
3:38 Cincinnati breaks out their fun pants for Louisville-wide black stripes with slashing white “bear claw markings.” Even more fun, their back-up qb immediately leads a touchdown drive.
3:55 Iowa State drubs Nebraska, 9-7, in a game devoid of highlights.
3:58 Cincinnati goes up, 14-0. Hey, these guys can play. So can the new QB.
4:16 Alabama leads, 3-0. Is this the Big Ten?
4:21 Notre Dame leads Boston College, 3-2. How often does a score evoke laughter.
4:23 Miami leads Clemson, 3-0. Hey, where’s the offense?
4:32 It’s in Cincinnati. 21-0. This guy’s second string?
4:42: Danielson: “When he’s thrown the ball for completions, look how accurate he’s been.” Why, yes. Like, maybe, 100 percent?
4:57 Alabama 6, Tennessee 3. Danielson: “This has the feel of an NFL game.” Yeah. Cleveland against Buffalo.
5:02 Duke beats Maryland, 17-13! Duke is 4-3! Back-to-back ACC wins for the first time in 15 years! My wife breaks out her Duke sweatshirt and contemplates celebratory beverages.
5:33 Danielson: “They’re in the game, and that’s key.” How much is CBS paying for this insightful commentary?
5:43 Miami goes ahead of Clemson, 17-14.
5:53 Clemson goes ahead of Miami, 21-17.
5:59 Miami goes ahead of Clemson, 24-21.
6:15 Clemson ties it, 24-24.
6:25 Alabama leads Tennessee, 12-3. Yawn.
6:29 Miami leads, 27-24.
6:41 Clemson leads, 31-27.
6:47 Heavens! Tennessee scores a touchdown! The Vols trail, 12-10.
6:48 Miami leads, 34-31.
6:56 Tennessee lines up for the winning field goal. Blocked!
7:10 Boston College has its final drive thwarted by an interception deep in Notre Dame territory.
7:11 Clemson kicks the tying field goal.
7:22 Clemson wins, 40-37 in overtime. It’s Tech’s day all around.
7:47 Mississippi State leads Florida, 3-0. That’ll get their attention. LSU jumps on Auburn, 7-0.
8:07 TCU, 21-0 over BYU. These guys can play, too.
8:48 Mississippi State gets a 100-yard interception return, cutting the Gators lead to 13-10. The teams then engage in a halftime scrum. Lovely.
8:56 Texas 21, Missouri 0. First quarter. Also lovely.
9:57 The Maroon Dogs screw up a fake punt, and Florida goes in for a 22-13 lead. Time to focus on Jacksonville.
10:19 South Carolina stops Vanderbilt’s last drive, preserving a 14-10 win.
10:21 Iowa scores on fourth down as time expires to beat Michigan State and remain unbeaten, 16-13.
10:38 Oregon State scores to get within 28-23 of Southern Cal.
10:58 Southern Cal takes a 42-28 lead.
11:38 USC hangs on for a 42-36 win. Wonder what the computers will think.
11:40 Ah, it’s the Late Night Pac-10 duo of Barry Tompkins and Petros Papadakis bringing us the Stanford-Arizona State game.
11:45 Stanford scores to make the halftime score 24-0. Barry implores us to watch the halftime highlights. No thanks. I’ve already seen it all.
12:05 The first kickoff! Ohio State hosts Minnesota under typically gray Ohio skies. Bucks QB Terrelle Pryor misses his first pass, and scattered boos emanate from the throng. That’s what a loss to Purdue will do.
12:09 And here are those very Boilermakers, again in their all-black unis, facing Ron Zook’s Fighting Illini. Boy, has Zook taken them down the tubes: they’re 1-5. Thank heavens for Illinois State.
12:11 Here come the Yellow Jackets! How will they handle prosperity? And the trip to Charlottesville? Luckily, it’s raining; a windbreaker covers most of Al Groh’s luminescent Virginia sweatshirt.
12:20 Poor UConn. Playing a week after teammate Jasper Howard was killed, they allow West Virginia to run back the opening kickoff for a touchdown.
12:35 Ole Miss leads Arkansas, 7-0. Boy, it doesn’t take the Hog defense long.
Hey, this is the only game being played in sunshine!
12:51 Still no score in Columbus, and the faithful are restless. Purdue leads Illinois, 14-7. UConn has tied West Virginia.
12:54 Virginia takes a 6-3 lead on Tech after a fake punt goes awry. Pouring rain, but Paul Johnson disdains any headgear.
12:56 Purdue’s QB runs in untouched for a 21-7 lead. They’ve run 22 times, passed four. Are they a Big Ten team, or what? Any wonder that the Illini faithful and Florida’s foes wish the Zooker was still in Gainesville?
1:00 Groh discards his windbreaker. Boy, that sweatshirt’s bright! On cue, Josh Nesbitt scores, and Tech leads, 10-6.
1:06 Ohio State finally takes a 7-0 lead, to modest applause. Ole Miss leads Arkansas, 14-0. I’m sure it’s not coach Petrino’s fault.
2:00 the Yellow Jackets fail in their attempt to keep the ball for the entire third quarter, but they come close: 81 yards in 18 plays in 10:47 for a
20-6 lead. Groh dons his windbreaker again.
2:14 Another Buckeye punt. Yawn. They’re sitting on a 14-0 lead.
2:24 Virginia drops another pass in the end zone. Maybe it’s Tech’s day. 20-9.
2:31 The Bucks erupt! Or, the Gophers pack it in. Either way, it’s 28-0.
2:37 Long touchdowns are traded, and Ole Miss leads, 24-17. Ah, sunshine!
2:56 UConn completes an 88-yard pass to take a 24-21 lead with 3:50 left! How about you, Marcus Easley!
3:10 Ugh! The sweet story sours. West Virginia’s Noel Devine runs 56 yards, and the Mountaineers lead, 28-24, with 2:10 to go.
3:33 Alabama and Tennessee take the field! The CBS booth shot features Verne Lundquist (whatever became of his neck?) and Gary Danielson, who rode to the game with the car window open. Nice hair!
3:38 Cincinnati breaks out their fun pants for Louisville-wide black stripes with slashing white “bear claw markings.” Even more fun, their back-up qb immediately leads a touchdown drive.
3:55 Iowa State drubs Nebraska, 9-7, in a game devoid of highlights.
3:58 Cincinnati goes up, 14-0. Hey, these guys can play. So can the new QB.
4:16 Alabama leads, 3-0. Is this the Big Ten?
4:21 Notre Dame leads Boston College, 3-2. How often does a score evoke laughter.
4:23 Miami leads Clemson, 3-0. Hey, where’s the offense?
4:32 It’s in Cincinnati. 21-0. This guy’s second string?
4:42: Danielson: “When he’s thrown the ball for completions, look how accurate he’s been.” Why, yes. Like, maybe, 100 percent?
4:57 Alabama 6, Tennessee 3. Danielson: “This has the feel of an NFL game.” Yeah. Cleveland against Buffalo.
5:02 Duke beats Maryland, 17-13! Duke is 4-3! Back-to-back ACC wins for the first time in 15 years! My wife breaks out her Duke sweatshirt and contemplates celebratory beverages.
5:33 Danielson: “They’re in the game, and that’s key.” How much is CBS paying for this insightful commentary?
5:43 Miami goes ahead of Clemson, 17-14.
5:53 Clemson goes ahead of Miami, 21-17.
5:59 Miami goes ahead of Clemson, 24-21.
6:15 Clemson ties it, 24-24.
6:25 Alabama leads Tennessee, 12-3. Yawn.
6:29 Miami leads, 27-24.
6:41 Clemson leads, 31-27.
6:47 Heavens! Tennessee scores a touchdown! The Vols trail, 12-10.
6:48 Miami leads, 34-31.
6:56 Tennessee lines up for the winning field goal. Blocked!
7:10 Boston College has its final drive thwarted by an interception deep in Notre Dame territory.
7:11 Clemson kicks the tying field goal.
7:22 Clemson wins, 40-37 in overtime. It’s Tech’s day all around.
7:47 Mississippi State leads Florida, 3-0. That’ll get their attention. LSU jumps on Auburn, 7-0.
8:07 TCU, 21-0 over BYU. These guys can play, too.
8:48 Mississippi State gets a 100-yard interception return, cutting the Gators lead to 13-10. The teams then engage in a halftime scrum. Lovely.
8:56 Texas 21, Missouri 0. First quarter. Also lovely.
9:57 The Maroon Dogs screw up a fake punt, and Florida goes in for a 22-13 lead. Time to focus on Jacksonville.
10:19 South Carolina stops Vanderbilt’s last drive, preserving a 14-10 win.
10:21 Iowa scores on fourth down as time expires to beat Michigan State and remain unbeaten, 16-13.
10:38 Oregon State scores to get within 28-23 of Southern Cal.
10:58 Southern Cal takes a 42-28 lead.
11:38 USC hangs on for a 42-36 win. Wonder what the computers will think.
11:40 Ah, it’s the Late Night Pac-10 duo of Barry Tompkins and Petros Papadakis bringing us the Stanford-Arizona State game.
11:45 Stanford scores to make the halftime score 24-0. Barry implores us to watch the halftime highlights. No thanks. I’ve already seen it all.