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Mike Tasos: Ready for the merriment of the holidays
Mike Tasos

We’re down to the last few hours. Tomorrow night, local meteorologists will act like they have an inside track on Santa’s whereabouts. Remember Cousin Eddie’s exclamation in “Christmas Vacation?”

Eddie was a believer, I’ll hand that to him.

And his innocence, by all rights, should be infectious, whether or not you’ve had a flu shot. This should be a Christmas for the ages. 

Oldest son Chris return from his fall semester Barcelona boondoggle. He and brother Greg will hightail it out the house as if I once again failed to open the flue on the fireplace. Those Amex gift cards will be on fire in their own right.

All will be right with the world. The whole family will be one again. That’s not to say all this red and green can bring on a Santa belly-sized case of the blues.

I never much thought about having the blues at Christmas. Many are affected. Until this year. 

I guess the melancholy is a product of missing someone. It might be nearer to a perfect Christmas if Sam, the world’s greatest golden retriever, were still around. Also, I’ll just have to imagine the vat of gumbo Papa Kenny would have delivered.

Wherever both may be, I hope every day is a Merry Christmas for you. 

We need to hand the blues a lump of coal and get on with the merriment. 

Christmas Eve homemade tamales from Rosa will be followed by Christmas Day prime rib on the Traegar. 

A week before Christmas and I still haven’t set foot In a store. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be on the bench for this mall madness. However, the disfavor that retailers are experiencing hit home when it was announced Parson’s is closing. I hope my store-less Christmas season wasn’t a factor. 

It’s doubtful since I never bought a thing there. My duties consisted of keeping a wary eye on two boys while Vicki shopped. I’m pretty sure they were telling the truth when they blamed the broken ornaments on a wayward staggering elf. 

Personally, I don’t believe movies count as shopping. 

How long will we have to wait to return to relive a piece of our childhood and get admitted to “Mary Poppins Returns?” I might have to wait until February in hopes of scoring tickets. Greg and I already saw what will probably be Clint Eastwood’s final film. If so, “The Mule” is a perfect way for him to close the curtain. It’s a fine way to dim the lights.

Steve Carell in “Welcome to Marwen” appears to be worth the mortgage payment-sized outlay for tickets and old popcorn. The Dick Cheney-inspired “Vice” has piqued my interest. Ditto for Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly giving us more “Stepbrothers” shenanigans in “Holmes and Watson.” I’ll need a laugh, especially if Clemson beats my Irish as bad as everyone is predicting.

The holidays are a perfect time for some phone fun. 

Perhaps those who have made my personal naughty list for any reason might get a telemarketer call during the 15th showing of “A Christmas Story.” I’d have a tough time choosing between lower interest credit cards or extended warranties.

Maybe instead of offering a sweet deal on carpet cleaning, I’ll try to re-connect with some of those who have made a difference to me through the years. 

Forget email. I aim to pick up the phone and call them. I have fears of them telling me they’d rather speak to that IRS guy about making a deal to pay bogus back taxes. Note to scammers: Don’t try to swindle me about my virus-plagued Windows computer. I own a Mac.

Whatever your family tradition is, take a deep breath and enjoy it. If you have no traditions, start one. 

 You could start by calling a church and asking the priest: “What time does Midnight Mass start?”


Mike Tasos’ column is published every other Sunday. Christmas is a time for giving. He’s not sure if that includes giving any telemarketer a hard time. Comments can be sent to miketasos@earthlink.net.