After watching game shows more than I’d like to admit, but never having the courage to attempt winning a lovely parting gift, we can all agree that the hosts are a strange lot.

Imagine keeping a straight face and nodding in a compassionate way when the host asks: “Alright, Ernesto, give me a man’s name that begins with the letter ‘H.’”

With a furrowed brow and a sense of accomplishment, Ernesto answers: “Jose.”

That actually happened. If it was me up there, I would enlist the help of some beefy audience members to pummel Ernesto with hard-bound Webster dictionaries.

I guess Alex Trebek, the consummate host of “Jeopardy,” finally had enough. He died last week after battling cancer. Classy and kind, generous and compassionate. Even if he had the answers on a crib sheet, Trebek never uttered a discouraging word. 

To honor him, let’s use this space to get into one of my favorite categories: Potpourri. It’s perfect mental gymnastics for someone who knows a little bit about a lot of things. It’s a safe bet that Cliff Clavin, the “Cheers” postman, would have aced it.

Pandemic stops

It’s becoming difficult to plan Saturday football watching. Throw out trying to get a handle on who’s hitting and who’s sitting. UGA got tagged when Missouri got bug-bit. Lots of others are in the same boat.

Two local high schools, Lambert and Denmark, have had to pump the brakes on the school year (at least in-person).

Denmark students were sprung from the building until after the Thanksgiving break. No matter your desperation to get the kids out of the house, this has to be steak and ice cream for students.

I have no skin in this game, but I am miffed. COVID is going crazy in the county, yet how bad is it really?

Did you happen to catch all those high school games that were cancelled? Me neither. 

Like their older university brothers, football drops enough in schools’ coffers, dictating a school would have to be shrouded in one of those fumigation tents before a game would be scrapped.

Pandemic starts

Let the scams begin. I’ve been threatened with jail again. It’s coming at me from different directions. This week, Microsoft wants to look inside my computer, even though I have a Mac. 

My Social Security number has been used for illegal purchases (perhaps I bought a car warranty?). Ashrack can get me off the hook for gift cards I am supposed to buy him.

I have a ball with these goofballs when they call. Instead of carrying on a conversation, they hang up on me. I consider it an honor that telemarketers have put me on their do-not-call list!

It’s a new start for Christ the Redeemer Catholic Church in Dawsonville, which opens for business this weekend. Breathtaking in its simplicity, the church is very “Catholic,” which is what Father Brian Higgins envisioned. 

The dream became a reality during this tough time. Father Higgins has recuperated from back surgery, battled the virus and lost his four-legged friend, Killian. As he readies for opening weekend, he is humbled by his flock’s generosity and hard work. 

The Season’s Upon Us

China has been blamed for COVID, but there’s something else that is insidious and trying to monkey with our traditions. Who gave the Chinese a pass when selling us Christmas lights? 

Listen up you color-blind Beijingers, there is no room on the tree for pink, purple or orange Christmas lights. Let’s go with red and green.

Vicki has been commissioned to return the ones she bought recently and find better lights. 

I’m not trying to rush things, but I caught myself listening to Christmas music — on November 16th!

What in the name of “Feliz Navidad” is wrong with me? Maybe I’m about ready to latch onto more smiles and warmth, relishing kicking 2020 to the curb. 

Thanksgiving confusion

So, every day is Black Friday now? I’m staying home again this year. Gentlemen start your Macs. 

In California, the idiot governor is restricting the size of family holiday gatherings. Good luck enforcing that.

“Honey, the cops are here, and they say we have too many people in the house.”

This could amp up any potential domestic disturbance, when the answer is: “Get rid of Uncle Stewie. He belched his way through the blessing. And I’m pretty sure his yard apes stole the TV.”

Thanksgiving weekend is blessed football broadcasts. Let’s get these cancellations out of the way. I can’t fathom watching “Jeopardy” reruns in between naps.

Mike Tasos’ column is published every other weekend. Comments can be sent to miketasos@earthlink.net. He is also on Facebook.