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Mike Tasos: Fall and all the wonders that come with it on the horizon
Mike Tasos

Let the onslaught commence. 

While the attack may seem subtle at first, we are about to be under a full-fledged blitzkrieg. Never mind the calendar, a glance outside reveals the cruel intent about to invade us.

Just as sure as a Cumming Fair turkey leg will give you mega-indigestion, the leaves are coming. 

They did their part all summer, staying in the trees and adding to the beauty of any chosen forest. Now, just barely into the last four months of the year, I noticed we’re getting really close to the Fall fall.

Not that I’m complaining. But it seems like summer, if it is indeed complete, was way too brief. It’s a safe bet students and teachers would agree. 

With the arrival of these leaves, along with giving summer the boot, it signals the advent of wonderful times for a sports fan.

In case you’ve been comatose from too much Sam Adams (from “Bosss-ton”), college football snuck into our midst last Saturday. 

Marketing geniuses at ESPN called last weekend “Week Zero.” That number about handles Desmond Howard’s IQ. How else can you explain picking Texas A&M to win the national championship?

Maybe Desmond had his Heisman Trophy conk him on the head when he was doing some pre-season cleaning.

To be a sports fan these days is akin to giving a snob tickets to the opera and an art museum in one fell swoop.

Before we ruminate about football, let’s pay attention to what’s happening in Marietta. It has been a banner summer for the Braves, who are in the thick of a pennant race. 

It’s been special, thanks to purchasing a 27-game season ticket package. Watch the ads. I beam with pride at being an A-List member. 

The season has been a blessing for me and son Greg. We’re all set for the playoffs. And winning another World Series is way beyond expectations. Except it seems like only a year ago these Braves won one and it’s been a party atmosphere at Truist Park ever since.

To coincide with whatever the end of baseball season might bring us, I’m ready for an onslaught of college football. 

Check your TV schedule: It’s no longer a Saturday thing. ESPN has games being sent our way on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Oh wait, there will be some minor conferences coming your way on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

Sundays and Mondays belong to the NFL and I’m not interested. I’ll earmark those days for leaf-raking. 

That about covers it for the week. I’ve been muttering to anyone who will listen that the 65-inch Sony just might not be sufficient. I’m thinking an 85-incher is in order. 

I realize I might have lost my mind, just like Desmond. Is a television as wide as most basketball players are tall, really a necessity? 

It’s insanity is what it is and I’ll probably not take the bait, no matter what the pimply-faced nerd at BestBuy tells me.

With all this tree dandruff landing in the yard, it would be much wiser to invest in a leaf-blower that’ll knock me off my feet.

Hey, Vicki is taking a trip to Croatia and Poland to see her sister Teri. Reckon I could sneak that TV into the basement and have it on the wall while she’s abroad? Oh, how the wheels are turning.

But enough fantasizing about the merits of Sony vs. LG vs. Samsung, Saturday will definitely be a day for car flags and chicken wings. 

Georgia should plaster Oregon, Alabama will destroy Utah State, and my Irish have bit off more than they should chew, traveling to Columbus (Ohio, not Georgia) to play Christians to the Buckeyes playing the lions. 

I’ll light a candle and pray that Notre Dame doesn’t get embarrassed.

Besides, if the score is too lopsided, I can switch to the Braves-Marlins game. 

I’m not sure I’ll be able to see the game as well as I should, though, having to make do with that miniscule 65-inch screen.

Fire up the grill, watch the leaves trickle and stay safe for the last weekend of summer.

Mike Tasos can be reached at Y’all are some amazing folks. My brother Marty is on the mend, improving daily. Keep those prayers coming. They’re working.